The azaleas are in bloom, flowers are popping up left and right and my town is turning the fountains green in preparation for Saint Patrick’s celebration. Thankfully this turning to spring means that my family has weathered the germs and bugs that plagued our winter and good health is within our grasp. Hallelujah!
Our BD is getting bigger and bigger. She is walking and talking, singing and dancing and playing and laughing like all happy 17 month olds should. This past Sunday she conquered drinking out of a glass. Yep, she finished a juice glass of OJ all on her own without mommy or daddy holding the glass and even asked for and polished off a refill without help. Milestones are getting checked off faster than my honey do list from Tim.
Last night I was rocking her and singing Jesus Loves Me followed by Braham’s Lullaby and it just struck me, her feet were hanging off my lap and I had to watch out that I didn’t rock her head into the side of her crib. Oh wow, she is getting so long! Her jacket for her yoga outfit (every well-heeled toddler must have one) is too short for her arms. How did this happen so fast? According to her pediatrician and the growth charts, she is right in the middle of the pack for height and weight. Good! This means she will actually be a normal sized kid. In my family, that is an anomaly. We Grigsby kids busted through all the growth charts as kids thanks to my Dad’s 6’6” frame and my siblings’ children have, for the most part, continued that trend so buying clothing for their kids as they grew was always a challenge. But lucky us, our child is right on time with the clothing sizes for her age. I have gotten in the habit of cleaning out her closet and drawers every couple of months as she out grows her clothing. There are some outfits that I refuse to move to the recycle bin for donation or consignment like the black and white gingham bubble she came to us in but generally if it is too small, it is out the door.
Last night when I realized she was almost too big for what has been our nightly routine for the past ten months, I wondered what our new bedtime routine would look like. I am certain the rocking and singing is on its way out. There have been a couple of times lately when she has shushed me mid lullaby. (Still licking my wounds over that total dis for my superior singing ability – sarcasm font.) The books at bed time are here for years, I hope. I can’t wait to introduce her to some of my favorite characters like the Box Car Kids and Pippi Longstocking. Her current favorite books are board books by Sandra Boynton, the five God books I picked up for a buck a piece at the dollar store, and Everyone Poops.
Yep we are back at the potty training but only as an interesting idea. She regressed back to diapers during her protracted RSV illness and we were just fine with that. She is fascinated with the Everyone Poops book and loves the potty songs I found on YouTube but not so much the actual using of the potty. In fact, she is scared of her poop. She dropped a log in the tub recently and when she saw it, screamed bloody murder. It took me several minutes to calm her down and convince her that the end was not at hand. For three days after that, she screamed when I put her in the tub. Brilliant woman that I am I finally figured out she thought the poop was still in there as she didn’t see me clean it out and bleach down everything within a yard of the bathtub. I had to convince her that the tub was clean and the offensive invader had been removed by getting sort of in the tub with her (I sit on the side with my feet and legs in the water). I’m terrified that I am turning her into a baby Monk (you know, from the show Monk) in training. How does an anal retentive type A avoid turning their sweet child into an OCD nut job? Prayer, that’s my answer for now, lots and lots of prayer.
Finally, her case – no real news to report. BD’s case worker filed the TPR (termination of parental rights) against her mother who is still in jail. We are waiting on a court date. Hopefully at the next court date, the judge will grant the TPR and BD will move from a foster child to a child available for adoption. We got a heads up from Chatham DFCS that unless we are willing to adopt BD and her two sisters together, we would probably not be considered for adoption. Talk about taking the wind out of our sails. This came from our resource development case worker – basically the case worker for Tim and me, not BD’s case worker who knows the variances in this case much better. I know that is the position of Georgia DFCS, siblings must go together, period. This case is different, as all of them are. Her siblings are in a legal guardianship with her maternal grandmother. (Legal guardianship is like an adoption except that the birth parents can petition for custody at any time, adoption is permanent and that option is not open for birth parents.) Her maternal grandmother has stated that she cannot/will not take any more of her daughter’s children. She has refused to even have sibling visitation between the girls. Given that, we have lived under the idea that if this case goes as the case worker believes it will, then BD will be our child through adoption at the end of the day. Our RD’s words of warning have made it real that we could love this child as if she was our own and then lose her. My head is telling me that the RD was just spouting the party line and she doesn’t know the case, or even us – she was just assigned to us and this was our first meeting. My heart is preparing for a major break. I don’t want it, I will do everything in my power to fight for this child and Tim told our RD that yes, we would take all three children if required but as honest foster parents the world over will tell you, I am reminding myself that this is not a permanent thing and to be prepared. This is the hard of fostering – loving a child with all your heart while also preparing and protecting yourself against the inevitable losing.
Thank God for Scarlett O’Hara! I’ll worry about that another day.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.
In other news, Tim passed the licensing exam and is now a card carrying real estate agent in the state of Georgia. He is signing with an agency with offices in North and South Carolina as well as here in Savannah so he will soon be working on getting licensed in at least South Carolina too. So if any of you 12 blog readers needs a vacation home in Hilton Head or Tybee Islands, give Tim a call. He’s your guy!